dilluns, 28 d’abril de 2008

Transvestisme sintàctic al Cabaret Llingüístic

Entreu, senyores i senyors, damen und herren, ladies and gentlemen! Passeu i preneu assiento. Sigueu benvinguts al Cabaret Llingüístic que és aquest post. Un antro de perversió, vici i gramàtica que us destija que tingueu una estada ben agradable. Ací hi trobareu vedettes pronominalitzades, ballarines d'escot generós que us mostraran els lexemes sense vergonya, cabareteres que canten declinacions acompanyades al piano per uns enanitos alexandrins, cambreres reflexives que serveixen hemistiquis amb vodka, contorsionistes que conjuguen el verb eixir mentre fumen un cigarro amb els peus. Sï, damen und herren, mesdames et messieurs, tot aixòs i més ho trobareu en aquest Cabaret Llingüístic.

Però sobretot no us podeu perdre l'actuació del gran Zinc, el pioner del transvestisme sintàctic, l'alma mater del confusionisme i l'ambigüitat. És un sintagma nominal? És un complement directe? Oh, ai las! El transvestisme sintàctic fa dubtar de tot i mai saps qui tens davant. Aquells que el practiquen no són fàcils d'analitzar.

Que s'apaguin els llums. Que el canó enfoqui l'escenari. Que els enanitos toquin el piano. Que s'obri el teló. Que comenci el numbro de transvestisme sintàctic! Endavant Zinc!!!

(aplaudiments)

En Zinc surt a l'escenari (amb l'aspecte de sintagma nominal)

(silenci expectant)

Un foco il·lumina en Zinc (oh! ningú no se n'ha adonat i en Zinc ja és un complement directe)

(aplaudiments)

Surt un enanito i porta un biombo a en Zinc (i ara s'ha transvestit en complement indirecte!)

(més aplaudiments)

(més silenci expectant)

(algú tus)

Darrera el biombo només es veu l'ombra del Zinc (oh! s'ha convertit és un complement del nom!!)

(èxtasi: gent dempeus, aclamació popular)

El biombo és plegat per en Zinc (ara com a complement agent!)

(silenci sepulcral)

I de darrera el biombo en surt algú que sembla en Zinc (oh! oh! oh! si realment l'és, s'ha transvestit en atribut!)

(xiuxiueig d'incredulitat)

(més xiuxiueig d'incredulitat)

(algú tus)


Sí, és ell! En Zinc saluda i abandona l'escenari tal com ha entrat: en forma de sintagma nominal, i enmig d'una ovació que no es veia des del dia que va retransmetre, en rigorós directe, l'arrel quadrada de 104976

I mentre s'abaixa el taló, una munió de veus aclamen l'artista amb crits de Visca el transvestisme sintàctic! Visca el Cabaret Llingüístic!

I l'artista, que ho sent des de darrera la cortina, pensa: què cony! Visca el Cabaret! I visca jo!

62 comentaris:

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Ooooh! Però jo havia pagat per veure't de verb incoatiu!

Jordi Casanovas ha dit...

m'encanten els antros de perversió, vici i gramàtica. Per quan un tuguri xurigueresc de verbs catalans conjugats?

Aida ha dit...

m'heu deixat amb l'accent circumflex...

XeXu ha dit...

No va ser la seva millor actuació, no se'l veia concentrat. Jo l'he vist transformar-se en complement preposicional regit, aquell dia si que va ser un gran espectacle!

annatarambana ha dit...

Per quan un duet amb la feliu amb la gran actuació de subordinada disyuntiva?

Zincpiritione ha dit...

Em sap greu, Marlene però agraeixo igualment la teva assistència! :)

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Apostrofi's, aida, i veurà com es refà una mica!

Jajajajaja, Xexu, tens raó... me'n recordo d'aquell dia com si fos avui! però l'edat no perdona i els morfemes se m'han rovellat!

Per subordinada disjuntiva, la Marina Rossell, Tarambana. Trobo que amb la Feliu seria més de fer-hi coordinades copulatives! :P

marta ha dit...

Per què sempre hi ha algú que tus?

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M'he posat dempeus per aplaudir, esperant un bis en forma de complement de règim verbal.

És un post magnífic!

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